Paranoia

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Paranoia: My mother has placed this insane fear in me that bad things are always happening and I’m next!

Growing up in a one room apartment in Bronx, N.Y. wasn’t easy, but the 5 of us got it done and you can only imagine how excited we were when my dad told us we were moving to a HOUSE in FLORIDA. As soon as we moved here, the first thing we got was not a pool or a puppy, we got burglar bars.

Many suns and moons later when I was preparing myself to look for a home,  I made a list of a few things that were important to me and my husband to be. I also took into consideration a few ideas from the people on House Hunters on HGTV: things such as location, price, and year built. I even discussed having burglar bars put on our future home at one point, but Michael didn’t even entertain the subject.

Fast forward to present day and we are moved in, it’s 3 A.M. and I had just gotten up to use the bathroom when all of a sudden I heard voices. I freaked out! Had I not been using the bathroom at that moment, I would have needed to. We have an on suite (which is a bathroom in our room) and so I froze and listened, suddenly the voices stopped! I ran into the bedroom and frantically shook Mike so he could wake up! Mike is such a heavy sleeper so this is always a task! He woke up (kinda) and asked what was wrong, I told him I heard voices and there was someone in the living room! (Please note: this is not the first time I have woken this man out of his sleep claiming there is an emergency) I dragged him out of bed and asked him to check the house!

My beautiful husband has a pretty good collection of knives and swords and at that moment all I could think of was *OK what movie did I see this very scene in, what did they do, what should I do?* So I grabbed a sword and he grabbed a sword and just as he reached for the door knob, we hear the voices again! Mike opened his eyes and looked at me and I whispered to him “alright babe, we just saw Die Hard, just mimic Bruce Willis”.

He slowly opened the door and he hid on one side of the door and I hid on the other side, with our heads peeking out of the door we noticed the living room was dark! Did I mention our room is in the back of the house? Ugh! At this point we are still hearing the voices and my adrenaline is at a max! I was shaking but trying to keep my mind clear, but the voices go away AGAIN and just as we get to the middle of the house we hear the voices AGAIN! It was coming from our office; the lights were on, I can hear a little kid and an adult, and just as we reach the corner… the computer was running an advertisement! Turns out he left the computer on and the ads were playing! I asked him if this were possible to happen on its own or did we need an exorcism? He said that it could happen and that he would be more careful to close out all tabs from now on. Holy Guacamole! I almost wished for burglar bars that night!

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