ODE TO THE TOILET PAPER

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Nothing brings me more joy than true events! I have this ongoing issue at work where the maintenance person stocks up the toilet paper for what seems like the day and then I have to struggle to get the paper out from the bin, which hinders the flow. In other words, I’m trying to get a good, protective layer for my personal use, yet only one to three squares come out, which causes me to be there for a longer period than initially intended, which then causes frustration, which then causes me to try and figure out how to open the paper dispenser and make that baby FLOW!

I feel the following toilet paper master piece will hit close to…HOME!

I have never quite ANAL-ized the toilet paper until my lovely little brother wrote the following:

Oh 2 ply toilet paper… you are my best frenemy… your soft cushiony body is there when I need to blow my nose or wipe my bum… however, why are you so mean at times! I mean really… do you really have to split in two when I need you most? Word, there is no point in doing that… pull yourself together man… another thing you do that drives me bananas is how sometimes you wont be even… seriously you have one square half way down the other… how does something like that happen? I guess its kind of like someone wearing half a shirt but 9 out of 10 of them have nothing to show but their gut… in your case you are just showing off your 1 ply brother… sad to say I am that one that will use as much as I can to get you back to your normal standards… though, through all this mayhem I still love you… 2 ply toilet paper you are my best frenemy…

BY: Jorge Febo JR.

 

 

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