I got a new job! It’s an awesome job! I feel important! I guess that’s what we all want, to feel important while dedicating 8+ HOURS of our lives to some corporation. The following events are REAL and only a girl can understand my TRAUMA!
My first day started like any other first day! OFF SCHOOL! I walked in nervous about the new change but anxious about the new start! No one knew who I was and I could have been whatever and whoever I wanted to be! I walked in with confidence and saw the hallway filled with 70 something faces! Surely I was bound to recognize someone! So I looked around and like the movies, I scanned the room! Placing the faces, but not one soul looked familiar! I stood there for a few minutes until the guy in front of me (that looked like an executive) started hounding me with questions! Everyone who knows me knows how paranoid and reserved I can be, so this stranger asking me questions like: where are you from? How far was your drive? Where do you live? What did you do at your last job? Was less than appealing at 7:30 in the MORNING!!!!! I was so annoyed but at the same time I thought to myself; “What if he’s a MOLE, what if he’s some important person who is trying to interview me, AGAIN!”? I gave him short, sweet and very closed answers so that he would leave me alone and carry on.
A short time later, our trainer came out and took us into a large room and sat us down. We did the same song and dance that I am so used to: 1) sit down, here’s your “New Hire” package 2) go around the room and introduce yourself 3) fill out all the information while listening to someone go on and on about the company and what’s to be expected, all the while I sat there thinking, “I know we are taking I.D. pictures today”!
I sat there patiently, hot pink lipstick so FRESH! My make-up was still pretty! My “comb-over” hair do was still in its place! I was excited! I waited and waited but no word on my I.D. picture. HOURS later, 3 P.M. to be exact, I was FINALLY called to the security room for my GLAMOUR shot!!!! I was so upset though, I forgot my lipstick in the car and my comb over had gotten out of place! I had no gel, hair-spray, spritz! NOTHING! I walked in and told the girl that I needed to pre-approve the picture since they had made me wait all day. She laughed as though I was teasing, but I wasn’t! Just like the DMV I requested my picture be pre-approved and FINALLY it was done! I had successfully survived my first day of work!
Do you see my face in this I.D. picture? I was so FREAKING excited! I waited ALL day for that glamour shot! If my job depends on that I.D. picture, I’m pretty sure I’ll there for LIFE!